Purpose and Motion.

I’m sitting at my local bar on a Saturday before noon, enjoying an adult beverage on the clock, and pondering what comes next?

Yesterday while stocking I had an epiphany about my life. I realized that even though it seems like the activities of my week are mundane, monotonous, and repetitive, they are really shaping me. I’ve always had the mind of an entrepreneur and I’m always thinking of some crazy idea to get rich. Pedalboard company for vain guitarists, a restaurant that caters to hipsters so I can destroy their existence by ridding them of what little money they have in their pockets, and then my recent scheme to make motivational posters that are actually very mean.

But working for a small business has made me realize that there are more overall costs, overhead, then I had imagined as well as a host of other problems that one doesn’t realize. Yet, I’ve been given the opportunity to play a leading role where I work and learn the ins and outs of small business. Small business, not large corporations are the backbone of the the American economy. We employ the majority of the American workforce.

I want to do that. I want to run a business that is not just successful financially but plays a part in furthering the wellbeing of its employees and the surrounding community if not reach even further to international waters.

Beyond that, working for a church that is somewhat stuck in the traditional model, has helped me to see that there needs to be voices of change and awareness. Even the modern mega churches have it wrong, we are not being Christ-like when we write great worship songs or make cool videos. It’s when we weep with those that are hurting and care for those that are in need. We should be giving ourselves to the causes that God has burdened us with.

Live long and prosper homies.

I Need Some Goals Son.

Outlook: Minimalist. 

Mantra: Everything should be as simple and as beautiful as possible.

Schedule: Wake Up. Pray & Read Bible. Work. Exercise. Poop. Sleep. 

Short Term Goals

  • Budget. Not strapped for cash but just need to be more financially responsible. 
  • Learn a Language. I want to be fluent in both Korean and German. Maybe Spanish too. 
  • Enroll in School. Time to get that Graduate Degree that I’ve been procrastinating on.
  • Start some kind of side business. Might as well, enterprise sonnnnnnnn!
  • Move closer to the city.
  • Read Books.

Long Term Goals

  • Get Rich.
  • Get Married.
  • Get Divorced.
  • Get Married Again.
  • Contemplate Divorce but make it work this time.

 

4 AM Musings.

The lull of a quiet southern town at four in the morning can be quite hypnotic. A backdrop of black against a single lamppost out my window. My mind drifted for a little while over a series of thoughts and moments that I had tried to forget. A reclaiming of understanding from my unconscious in somewhat conscious streams of day-ish/night-ish dreams.

I realized how the end began. I better understood why certain doors are left closed and why birds must take refuge for a season. I hate that word by the way. I hate the words Season, Intentionality, and Love when they are used in conjunction with each other. I am giving you permission as readers of my blog to punch anyone in the face that use those words together, especially, when they are speaking about their “community” or what not.

Here are my blatant instructions actually:

Punch them in the face or jugular and remind them as painfully as you can that they are not C.S. Lewis.

I totally got off topic. I’m too frustrated to continue writing, I’m going to go stuff my face with biscuits and gravy.

Sprache.

Yesterday night I picked up that book again. I finally gave into my temptation and began reading Nietzsche once again. This time I started from the very beginning. I read the timeline of his life as well as the introduction by the two translators. I was determined not to fall into words, ideas, or hopes without my own permission.

The journey picked up once again upon the porcelain throne. As I released the poison from my body, all the Heineken and Remy Martin I had partaken in, I read every word very carefully. I stopped to think about sentences and attempted to break them down to understand their meaning, even if it was just at face value. The interesting thing about this prose is that Nietzsche chooses a religious figure, builds upon his work and legend, in an attempt to break down the overarching hold that religion as well as society holds over the individual.

Although, this time around, I was much less receptive of Nietzsche’s work; I was agreeable to the idea of the descent. More notably an idea that comes from Plato’s Cave, but is very true of even the teachings of Jesus.

In one instance, one escapes from the misery of clouded thought and becomes enlightened by the sun. The light breaches the darkness and brings everything to existence. Even the things that we meant to be left unseen. The true victory is the return to the cave to bring the others that are still in clouded thought and menial existence.

In the case of Jesus Christ, one originally comes from the Father, the Creator, and the Beginning as well as End. He descends to teach others how to descend, which incase, is the only true way to ascend. To become less. To serve. To love the destitute.

Another interesting and provocative symbol is the old man in the forest. A Lover of God but no longer a Lover of Man. Very observant and filled with wisdom, yet, has grown tired and weary of the less. The fact that he is the first person that Zarathustra meets before he begins his journey of sharing what he has come to find in his exile is interesting. Much like Jesus meeting Satan in the wilderness before His time of ministry. Now I am not liking the old man to Satan, even though he is a fictional character, I mean the force that is meant to stop ones purpose. In Zarathustra’s case, had he listened to the words of the old man, he would have never gone on to teach many people throughout this prose. And if Jesus had fell into temptation, well, us Christians would be royally screwed.

“Now I love God; men, I do not love. Man is for me too imperfect a thing. Love of men would kill me.”